Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
