ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
