Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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