Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
