i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
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