just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
