so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Floor bacon is actually really good
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
