Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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