So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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