Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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