Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize