I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
false alarm, still single
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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