White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I currently don't understand fingers.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
