he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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