Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
