I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
