somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
What drink are we having for lunch?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
