Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
