We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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