It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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