I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
