He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
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