i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
