Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
