I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
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