I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
