thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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