Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize