Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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