I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
