Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
