Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
