i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
