I'm drive I can fine osifer
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Text me some of your sweat
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
