i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
