a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
