what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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