Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
