Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
