i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
