He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize
