U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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