Sponge bath it is.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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