Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
