Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
