Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
he fucked my hip out of place.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I love you. Go after that dick
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
