If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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