I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
