oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize