Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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