2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize