____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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