Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
