My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
