So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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