It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
I bet heβd be surprised by the epic blow job heβd get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
