Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
