i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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