as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
