it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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