she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
