so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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