You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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