worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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