They should really pass out barf bags in church
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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