Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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