its not stalking. its research.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
