i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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