hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
