Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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