Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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