Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Randomize
