Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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